Close Every Door

Well, if you know this song title, then you know it's sung by Joseph (of the Bible) as he languishes in prison, wondering what God has in store for his life locked away from the world.  But in the next song, the chorus sings "hang on now Joseph....we've read the book and you come out on top!" :)  I love Joseph's life story and the way God's plan for him is evident only after many years of uncertainty.   It gives me GREAT HOPE when I look at my life and wonder what God has in store for me and how He is using me without my even knowing.  But I do have faith He is using me.

And ironically enough, right now He is using me inside a prison.  Just like Joseph.  Except without the chains, of course.  But lots of closed doors....

If you haven't heard, part of my new job teaching at a community college in east Texas (more on that later) is to provide educational services to some of the regional prison units.  I knew this would be part of my job when I signed on, but was assured that the classes there were quite well behaved and the students really seemed to care about learning (maybe even more than many of our traditional students on campus!)  However, as school began to approach, the stories started coming - not necessarily of the classes themselves, but of the process of driving there, going through security, and being flexible to all that goes along with entering that world. 

Well, the first week they had to cancel my classes because my fingerprints had not had enough time to be cleared through the screening process.  Week 2 brought Labor Day and my Monday night classes didn't meet.  And during week three, the unit I was assigned to went on "lockdown" - a process each unit goes through a couple times a year which sounds like a cross between inventory, spring cleaning and well....a shakedown.  So, week four of the semester and I finally get to go behind the closed doors and meet my students.  Now that I've gone 3 times, I feel the need to reflect a bit on my first impressions.  To supplement my thoughts, I searched for the prison on the web.  And yes - found way more than I wanted to.  Including a site that would let me scroll through all the prisoners names, crimes, and length of sentences...if I had the time or inclination.  I just don't think I need to know.  However, I did find some interesting stats that shocked me, too.  I'm not listing the name of my unit here, but if you care to know, shoot me an email.

Top 10 Facts & Anecdotes from 3 weeks(days, actually) in prison:

1) My unit has about 3300 inmates, all male.  According to the Texas prison website, it is one of only 5 prisons in the state with over 3000 inmates, and 2 of the other 4 are situated on the same 20,000 acre plot - literally in the middle of nowhere, Texas.  It's a good 45 min drive from my town and the roads are very country.  I had forgotten what the bright lights on your car are for!  So do the math - about 12,000 inmates (also including a transfer unit that has 2000) in a relatively small area.  That alone is a bit daunting.

2)  I have been asked what "kind" of criminals they are.  I've decided not to ask them that.  But the website shows a fairly even breakdown of that 3000 divided amongst sentences of 0-10 yr, 10-20 yr, 20-40 yr and over 40 yr.  So I'm thinking there's a little bit of everything. 

3) Their math skills are all over the board as you might imagine.  When I told them the first night my experience was teaching 7th grade, one of the young men said "I think that's about when I stopped trying."  Yes - hence the fact you are re-taking middle school math in the developmental college math classes!  But many of them are very sharp and are excited that this class is not too challenging. (FYI - we offer a full slate of math classes up through calculus and statistics!)

4) Interesting to me: to a man - their handwriting is extremely neat, and almost a joy to grade!!!  I really want to know what's behind that!

5)  I have to show my school ID 5 times: the guard at the front driving gate, the guard at the walking gate, the video camera that goes up to the tower to buzz us into the fence, the guards running the metal detector (who also pat us down), the guard that buzzes us through the last door that leads us into the hallway with the inmates.  Each time you show someone they are required to physically touch it.  Not quite sure the reasoning there.  We also go through 5 doors - 4 of which are locked behind us as we go in.

6)  Last week I bonded with my students when politics came up in a word problem we were doing and I found out many of them support #Bill White for Governor.  I also bonded with one young man who told me he was reading #Twilight.  Yeah.  That was strange. 

7) I teach 2 classes - one from 3:30-6 and one from 6:30-9 (although we don't get the full time in either block).  During my second class, the classroom next door is watching a teacher who is being broadcast through a tv/computer connection from our main college campus.  He's a campus minister I met on Monday and he teaches an Old Testament survey.  Good to know, so I wasn't too shocked when I walked by a group of inmates quizzing each other on which man ended the Patriarchal Period in Genesis.  I knew the answer so I chimed in!! (ironically - Joseph! :)  I'm ok with our state letting them learn the Bible in prison...

8)  I have seen deer grazing just off the side of the road 2 of my 3 driving nights.  It's REALLY dark out there.  Feel free to pray for me that I never hit a deer, or a wild hog, or anything else that might go bump...

9)  This week one of my students stayed behind to clarify a question he had.  He's vocal in class and I can tell he really wants to understand all of what he's doing.  As we finished he said, "I used to hate math, but the way you teach it makes me just want to go solve some problems."  Forget the surroundings.  A teacher always loves to hear that.

10) I cried almost the whole way home my first night.  Yes, some of it was the adrenaline and anxiety finally wearing off from the fear I had built up that day before I got there.  But mostly, it was the overwhelming feeling that Satan had gotten into so many men's hearts and convinced them that to act - at best, illegally - and at worst, in true evil - was their only option.  I believe in consequences for our actions - both here and on judgement day.  And I believe that each soul can be forgiven by our gracious God if we but ask.   But my heart aches - and breaks - for so many who have chosen this poorly. 

How will God use me?  I'll do my job honorably and the best I can.  And may I shine His light and love into a very dark place.  Lord, hear my prayer.

p.s. Song title from "Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat".  It's right behind "The Sound of Music" in my list of musical favorites.  If you've never seen it, you really should...even if you don't like musicals!  :)