I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect
I'm Afraid.
While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows I'm afraid.
The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people I fear
I fool myself as well!
I whistle a happy tune
And ev'ry single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I'm not afraid.
Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far.
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
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All summer long I've been "impressed" with myself for not feeling fear about all the new-ness coming to my life (apartment, town, job, friends, church...) I wondered how long it would last - not trying to be a pessimist or wish myself afraid - just wondering. Because I have this track record of fear. Of pretty much anything new and unknown. Yes - I seem to have done lots of new things over the years. Yes - afraid every time.
It snuck in today. Not huge. Not paralyzing. Didn't even take away my appetite. (Darn.) But it crept in - I could tell because my emotions were on edge and my tears were too quick - for seemingly no reason. I believe one of the ways God has helped me conquer fear is by helping me identify it, name it and then tackle it! When I realized what the culprit was, this song popped into my head (ok, so maybe I've ramped up the song lyrics lately!) But it has been a song that has brought me comfort over the years. Ironically, I can't whistle. At all. But I love to sing. And when I'm done singing through this song, I move on to songs that lead to the true conqueror of fear. Today it was "Your Name" by Paul Baloche, "Great is Thy Faithfulness," "At the Cross" and "Still" by Hillsong. And a new one..."Unafraid" on Amy Grant's new album. Simple, but powerful - I still choke up most times I try to sing through it! Along with quoting scripture, it never fails that when I sing of Jesus, my fear recedes. Will it come again, probably. Will Jesus be there still, Yes. Thank you, God, for music and for your peace.
Just thought I'd share.
By the way, my first official school thing is tomorrow (that also helped me identify the problem), followed by meetings next week, students Aug 30th. Feel free to pray for fear-free days. I believe prayer helps, too!!
Any songs, scripture or "tricks" you use to combat fear? I'm always looking.
p.s. The King and I (this post needed the whole song!)
OH girl! I get the fear thing...and I get how it creeps up on you. Right now my song is "Our God" by Chris Tomlin.
ReplyDeleteMy trick to combat fear: I imagine the worst possible outcome of the situation, and then I emotionally deal with that, figure out what I would do if that happened. Then, no matter what happens, it's never as bad as that. HA! Is that pessimistic? This strategy drives Leigh absolutely crazy when I talk about it, so I do it all in my head now. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the fear thing. I remember losing it several times leading up to my first college lecture and clinical day. Praying for you! Remember, you've done this before and you've got lots of people and prayer on your side. My song - "He knows my Name."
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you! I really am! I usually tell God about my fear in my journal and I ask Him to take it away...then I remember my authority and command it to go away in the name of Jesus! And it goes real quick! Love you and miss you...have a blast with those kids. Remember they are just like middleschoolers in adult bodies! hee hee hee Just think I might be teaching 6,7 and 8 year olds this year.
ReplyDeleteSarah, your honesty in this post is great. I have had times of reciting scripture or singing while lying in a dark room in bed all by myself at night. It's very helpful. I agree with you that prayer definitely helps too.
ReplyDeleteLove this song too. I used it with my kindergarteners when I was teaching. I look forward to looking up some of these other songs you mentioned and others in the comments mentioned online. Kelly
Sarah, I'm just getting caught up on your new blog. So excited to get regular updates (more than FB) on your new adventure. Hope the year is going well. And hopeful that your assertiveness is catching that fear before it gets to far is working for you!
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